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Internet Message Format | 2003-09-28 | 4KB

From: Tommy the Terrorist <[e-mail]>
Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.science,alt.conspiracy
Subject: A New Way To Die For Your Country
Date: 28 Apr 1996 03:09:00 GMT
Message-ID: <4lungc$[e-mail]>

Two U.S. Marines, John Mayfield and Josheph Vlacovsky, recently
distinguished themselves by having the bravery to stand up against, and
thereby bring to the attention of the world to, a demand by the
Department of Defense that they consent to have their DNA samples added
to a military database.
   The DOD claims this database, including records of all U.S. military
personnel, is solely for the purpose of identifying the bits and pieces
they find on the battlefield.  But then again, they have also agreed to
furnish material to criminal investigators.  What else might they intend
with it?
   Thanks to Mayfield and Vlacovsky, the DOD has agreed to destroy
individual samples upon request when that person leaves the armed forces.
 They have also agreed to restrict the data from other than corpse
identification and criminal investigation.  The question remains,
however, as to whether people trust them on this point.

* * * Speculation follows... * * *

   Dr. Dreadalus, in his continuing research with the NSA, has come
across an interesting way to gather support from ailing officials.  He
has developed a mass-production approach in which PCR is performed
directly upon a stack of slot blots of DNA samples, allowing him to
recognize a specific form of a given gene with certainty.  He has
designed his hybridization chamber to accommodate, oh, about 30,000
samples at a time --- which isn't really all that difficult or expensive,
considering the resources available to *military* researchers.
   The Department of Justice is, of course, most interested in his
ability to use this apparatus to quickly screen genes expressed in the
nervous system to determine whether specific isoforms or deletions
correspond to soldiers with disciplinary problems, particularly those
which cannot readily be detected ahead of time, such as those individuals
willing to report atrocities committed on the battlefield.  These can
then be screened for by military authorities, insurers, and employers to
ensure a society free of unexpected surprises.
   Dreadalus has, however, found an even simpler and more lucrative
application for his new technology.  An exact tissue match occurs, on
average, about with about 1 in 30,000 potential donors.  Tissue matches
may not normally rely on DNA-based tests, but each of the genes involved
*could* be tested on this basis, if that is what was available.  Thus,
Dreadalus now possesses the capability to *find* a suitable tissue match
for an ailing Senator or Congressman, or important officials and
contractors for the NSA, such as, for example, Dreadalus.  The tissue
match will be alive and in good health (one hopes, unless our military
training has really gone downhill!), and he needs merely to be sent away
on a Special Mission, from which his body, complete with fictitious organ
donation papers, will be returned to an unsuspecting Army surgeon for
organ retrieval.
   There is very little that a corrupt public official (sorry for the
redundancy) will not do in order to stay alive.  Dreadalus expects to
have no trouble with research grants for the rest of his life.


Special Note:  (Dedicated to Mike Holloway...) --- nothing here should be
taken to criticize the legitimate use of genetic testing and organ
donation in the course of normal medical procedure for the purpose of
improving patient health in accordance with voluntary choice.